21 Jul 2012: High Five Marriage Entrainment

21 Jul 2012:

High Five Marriage Entrainment

Glasgow, Scotland, UK

H: 17 L: 7 Weather: Mostly Cloudy

Breakfast on Saturday was a bit different than on previous days.  For whatever reason, Glaswegian coffee shops tend not to open until 9am on weekends.  I myself was sad for the lack of food.  Instead we stopped by a little corner store, and I picked up a package of generic brand muffins (which ended up being alright – I appreciate how pro-muffin Europe is) and a tiny little pint of milk.  The pints of milk in the UK are adorable, a bit like our quarts of milk if you blasted them with a shrink ray, and they’re perfect for drinking as a beverage.  More importantly, though, I hadn’t yet had any milk to drink since MURRKA, and, as you might imagine, my body was starved for lactose.  I was happy to appease it.

The conference was interesting again on the third day, with a particular emphasis on applied approaches.  Though I continued sometimes, er, “zoning out” a bit more than I should have, well, the Awesome Group of Awesome was good at trying to keep me awake.  That’s what groups are good for!

In the afternoon, though, I had no problem staying awake, because we had a boom stick concert.  Heard of boom sticks before?  They’re round tubes that, when pounded against the ground/chairs/other boom sticks/skulls make a single loud, pitched plonck noise.  As this was a Rhythm and Timing Concert, I suppose the organizers thought we’d be able to make a good orchestra.  The fun thing was, we actually did, at times; our “conductor” had sat next to me at dinner on Thursday, and was as vibrant then as when leading the boom sticks, and she encouraged exploration of improvisation, which for me and my Swedish friend from the Awesome Group of Awesome meant doing a lightsaber battle with the boom sticks like we were seven years old.

Wrapping up the conference was done with some pomp and circumstance: we received an official welcome from a representative from the Glasgow City Council.  Yes, you read that right: to conclude the conference, we got an official welcome (and welcome cocktail party).  The speaker, who was wearing the sort of shiny medal that British people seem to really like their officials with fancy titles to wear, made light of that in her speech.

Much to the surprise of all in the room, she was actually a friendly and engaging speaker.  Sure, she had some lines that she clearly was required to say (“as you all know, Glasgow will be hosting the Commonwealth Games in 2014”.  Americans: the what…?), but she also threw in her own entertaining anecdotes (including, for example, saying that she thought politicians should take note of the conference, especially a particularly lively presentation about speech rhythm and persuasive speech) and exuded a genuinely welcoming spirit.

After the Glasgow City Council-funded cocktail party, it was time for the dinner bazaar.  I definitely wanted to hang out with the Awesome Group of Awesome again, but I think everyone else recognized that networking should be done with as many people as possible.  In this case, this essentially amounted to merging groups together; some of us who weren’t in the group that had reservations together the previous night ended up glomming our groups together.  At one point, I gave a high five to someone, then informed him that we were now married, to which he responded, "Wait, you weren't in our group last night!"

Yes, you heard that right.  After informing someone of the fact that high fives produced marriage, his responses was not "what are you talking about?" or "wut?" or "OH GOD I'VE BEEN MARRIED TO SO MANY PEOPLE BY NOW", but something akin to "how do you know that?"  Apparently a second group independently came up with the idea that high fives are equal to hugs, much to the surprise of both groups involved.  We decided that this was an example of "entrainment", a buzzword that had been mentioned quite a bit referring to increasing neural or behavioral synchrony over time.  For example, if you find that when talking to someone from the South you start sounding more and more like a southerner, that's an example of entrainment - or, at least, it could be treated as such, because many things can be treated as entrainment.  Admittedly, they had come up with the idea at 1 in the morning, while we had at 7 in the evening, but it just goes to show that one of the reasons I waited so long to drink is that I've never really needed it to be as crazy as people become when they do.

Anyhow, about 24 of us starting walking towards a pub that was recommended by one of the students, forming a Fantastic Swarm of Wonder with members ranging from me to full professors.  As you might imagine, though, such a group on a Saturday had a hard time finding tables, well, anywhere.  So, as we moved from place to place, people began dropping off.  I tried my best to assist the "border collie" of the group (the PhD student who seemed to know where all the big places to go were) herd members of the group around (I appointed myself "vice border collie"), but, eh, that's life, we were basically never going to find somewhere big enough anyway, so whatever.

In the end, the group I went with ended up at the most hipster restaurant ever, where we split into different tables.  What do I mean by the "most hipster restaurant ever"?  Well, let me put it this way: there were two menus, one normal, and one for "food without faces" (i.e., the vegetarian menu).  Many menu items were accompanied by little comments, often in the form of deliberately bad puns, enclosed by {curly braces} |because, dear, regular parentheses are simply too mainstream|.  I had a really fun group; we talked about Minnesota, naturally—this is where I received a second opinion, that a Minnesotan accent sounds like a gay German—and I was also informed that I do a great impression of a drunk Englishman.  The Englishman who told me that could not do an American accent as well.

Later, some of us went out to a pub, where we continued the fun and mixed and matched groups a bit more. I ended up talking politics, immigration, and a certain Ms. Maggie Thatcher with someone I much respect.  I was asked, by some of the people I was sitting at the table with at the hipster restaurant, if I'd like to go clubbing with them, but I begged off, citing the fact that it was already far too late and OH GOD SLEEP PLEASE NOW.

As I was leaving, though, a couple of funny things happened.  First, I got high fived by a Glaswegian.  She was thrilled that we were giving up the table that we were leaving (admittedly, it was a wonderful table, so we all totally understood), and decided to celebrate with a high five.  This led to one of the most entertaining conversations I've had.

Me: I mean, we're married now, you know, now that we've high-fived.

Her: Great!

Me: You can come live with me in the US!

Her: You know I've always loved you!  (holds out her hands and extends them towards me)

Me: (takes her hands in mine) I know!

Her: (goes to goose me, but decides that's a bit too much and just grabs the back of my knee affectionately) See you!

Me: Bye!

Did I mention I love Glaswegians?  I love Glaswegians.  Borderline sexual harassment in the US?  Yes.  A wonderfully entertaining and somewhat flattering exchange in Glasgow?  Yes.

On the way out, the second entertaining thing happened.  The entire rest of the Fantastic Swarm of Wonder showed up en masse.  Unbeknownst to us, they had merged together again and go to the same pub.  We were just upset that we had given up our awesome table before they showed up.  I made it home happy.